Tomorrow is officially the last day of my 1st and 2nd Period classes for the year 2008-2009. It is honestly tragic. I have waited and have been so glad that the year was almost over, but now it's here and I am not incredibly happy about it. I have had so many good connections with my kids this year. They make me laugh so hard, they make me cry, their stories make me cry, their stories make me laugh and sometimes they just drive me nuts (which is actually their personal favorite I believe). I absolutely love them. I said before that I didn't realize that teaching would become so personal. On some days, I wish I had an office job that I could get paid more for, never have to buy supplies for, and never really have to think about and work between the hours of 9 and 5 but it would never be me. I was never called to that.
For some reason, God saw in His grace to use me, sometimes I don't at all understand how or what he's doing but He did and He does. I am constantly amazed at the things I know He has me pour into them that I think they never heard, and when I least expect it, they remind me of the expectation I had of them before. They keep me on my toes. They make me better. They make my job worth it to not get paid as much or to have to do some extra work instead of just sit at home. They become the adopted, the broken that needs healing, the poor that needs to be given to, the lover that was never loved. They become me, in my great reality of what Jesus does for me. I become Jesus to them, in ways that are not possible within my own strength or power. In Jesus, I become the adopted, the healed, the given to, the loved lover. They show me Jesus, even though most of them have no idea who He is! And in His grace, He uses them to teach me and me to teach them, but along with that comes heartache. The heartache of goodbyes, and new beginnings, of old memories, and growing up. Yes, they hurt, but are they worth it? Of course, I have a few more days to love these little precious souls to death. So what if they eat up my time? So what if they drive me up a wall? Be Jesus, and when it hurts, still... be Jesus.
So tomorrow when the tears and heartache come as goodbyes begin... I choose to be Jesus.
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