Refresh

I have made a decision. I need to figure out what to choose though. Let's start at the beginning. I have made a decision. I have made a decision that I am going to apply for the Pepsi Refresh Project. You are saying, what are you doing with this project? And I am telling you, "I will decide in the next 48 hours." Monday is March 1st... that means that Pepsi Refresh accepts the first 1000 ideas... I mean honestly, I don't know how fast it fills up but I want to be prepared. So they give out grants of up to $250,000... holy cow, that's a lot.... now could I think up a project to work with that much money? Of course... do I want to? Not sure about that. That much money scares me a little bit.... but because that is quite large, there are smaller sums as well... so I have ideas... I just need to decide which idea is the most important.... then when I decide, I need to be able to talk everyone else into this idea so that it gets a lot a lot a lot of votes so that I can actually receive the grant. So these are my ideas... (Pepsi says they can be simple so some of them are.)
1. Graffiti cleanup
2. Buying an empty warehouse and letting graffiti artists paint in it as a museum of sorts... (I want to do this but I'm not sure I am responsible enough to be in charge of such a large project)
3. Extreme home makeover for some of my kids at school and the people in our community
4. A huge carnival to raise money for causes like Darfur, or Haiti, or Chile, or something very important... and then beginning a non-profit called "Speak Up" that challenges middle school and high school students to 'speak up' for what is right and a call to awareness of issues around the world.
5. Building a youth recreation center that is free of charge that students would volunteer at... to be used as a mentoring place for elementary school students
6. or anything else that comes to my mind within the next 24 hours...
Tomorrow I will try and make a decision... then Monday... I will apply... yes, I know this is all of a sudden, but it is one more effort to be change so that the people around me want to see change as well... I'm not sure if I'll be able to sleep tonight but I will probably dream about it.
Let me know your thoughts! -Melis

How did we get here?

Tonight I'm at church at a coffee house with lots of music and photos and paintings... I mean it was really awesome but while I was there I ran into someone who will remain nameless who now has a girlfriend who will also remain nameless and I just don't get it. How do people end up together? I know people say, "Oh, opposites attract." Really? If I'm being realistic, I want someone who complements me, not someone the complete opposite of me... what if I like boxing and he only likes football? What if I hate (strongly hate) Panera and that's his favorite resturant? I mean I realize that relationships is give and take but I don't think that meant, "Completely give up who you are and become someone else in order to please another person." I mean that nameless boy is not doing this (To be honest, I just had to correct myself because I just put that he is doing this so maybe I'm subconsciously think he is?) but I do think he has partly become someone else in order to be with her. This nameless boy is quite the musician and he enjoys that in the other person as well, which she does but tonight as he was singing, she left the room? I mean what? Supportive? Caring? Listening? Not to say that she's not those things because she does seem like a nice, passionate, pretty, got it together girl... but how did they get here? How do we end up with the people we end up with? Will I end up the same way? Will I be with a guy who just doesn't make sense for me? Will people look at us and say, "They're cute and sweet, but they just don't make sense."? It would be like Jake marrying Vienna instead of Tenley, it just shouldn't happen.... and now that I'm finished with that, I think I'll go cry and scream saying, "Maybe this is why I'm still single!"
With as much sincerity as I can round up at the moment, Melis

An Overview

Just thought I would give you a quick update of my dramatic life over the last couple of days. We have been testing... yuck and I am so glad that we have a couple of days of it off because it is a long time to not talk or move or breathe loud or anything... it's odd and annoying, never thought I would say that but after a while I just can't really take it. So my students have been wild because they are not seeing all their normal teachers and that somehow causes like a weird disfunction or something. They have been kinda freaking out and it makes me freak out. I had a student yesterday tell me how racist everyone at my school is and this only lead up to a racist comment that he made himself. One student basically cussed out a teacher in so few words and we keep getting students from behavior school that are just ridiculous. Drama, drama, drama. In the midst of the chaos, a few things have been calm like me when no one else is in the room and I have been able to dance and talk to myself and sing and act like a crazy lunatic while no one else knows (well until you read this that is). That is probably the only thing that is keeping me sane. Then yesterday, one of my girls told me I should be a counselor and I was like well I already am. I just didn't realize that when I became a teacher it entailed so many other jobs... these are the ones I have taken over within the last month (or has been suggested)... counselor, mom, aunt, best friend, sister, mom again, school nurse, and today even grandma (the other kids told this suggester she was disrespectful). And overall, I'm thankful that at this point of a whole 3 years in teaching, or almost, that my kids will look at a new student and say, "You don't treat Ms. G like that." They've got my back... sometimes I feel miraculously but they do and I am so thankful. So P telling me I should be a counselor is a good thing I think in the midst of chaos and psycho behaviors, I must be doing something right even if this post makes absolutely no sense. If you talk to me on a regular basis, it probably does. And if you don't, maybe you should talk to me more so you would understand my multiple mood/personality in moments ordeal, and if after reading this, you would submit papers that I should be placed somewhere else, I would also completely understand (even though I would be angry for a few minutes). So that's that and as DJ Franny says, "It is what it is." What can we do? Praying for a fairy tale soon so I have something halfway normal in my life (right? because fairy tales are normal?).... love you all. Thanks for sticking out my crazy life with me.
-Melis

These are a few of my favorite things!!

Most of my past week has been wonderful for a few significant reasons...

-Wednesday night, me and 3 other teachers from my school took 15 students to the Holocaust conference at NWCTA. It was awesome. It was so fun being around the students outside of school as well as listening to the survivor speak. The survivor that we got to listen to was 85 and had been placed in 7 different camps. His family had been killed in gas chambers in various other camps and he had quite the story. He came to the U.S. at then end of the 1940's. One of the most amazing things he said was similar to as follows. 'The most horrifying part of the Holocaust was that people, who shouldn't have been able to decide, decided who should stay and who should go. They decided to kill some and save some. What if one of the people that was killed was supposed to make a significant change in the world? It is never for us to decide.' Amazing...

-This weekend at church we had various people from different parts of the world... including my favorite... Africa. Coen Scholtz whom I worked with the previous 2 summers in Zambia and South Africa shared some of his heart yesterday morning and tonight in a meeting for the upcoming trip. It is always emotional and fantastic at the same time to hear his stories and his heart. He is absolutely incredible and I could not ask for a better person to serve with in another place. He understands the Kingdom and the reason for God's Kingdom in a way that I am not sure that I will ever understand.

-Also, this weekend a man named Brian, who works for a non-profit out of Hope, shared and he said one of the most significant things I've heard over the past year. (Many of us who work secular jobs get grief sometimes because it is not "ministry." If you believe this, you are very, very wrong my friend and I'm not sorry that I had to be the one to tell you.) He said that God's Kingdom Activity is everywhere. He said that it is even where people are just motivated to do good... even when they are not believers... they are still part of God at work in His Kingdom. That means my kids who just care about people genuinely, whether they know it or not, are all part of God's activity. How thrilled I am that I see God's activity where I sometimes think he is missing.... He is not... He is sovereign, in control, on the throne, and walking wherever He pleases... in my classroom, around my school, and up the street with my kids.



God is at work among us and how dare we miss it even when we think it is not possible for him to be there! Have a great week and open your eyes to Him!

-Melis

Valen....Singles Awareness Day... tine's Day

Valentine's Day greets me with very funny dreams of love and then I wake up to reality. The fact that I have only spent one Valentine's Day with 'someone.' One day during my entire life. I avoided high school Valentine's Days and only had one college one and since then, I have been Valentine's Dateless/dayless... if that's even possible. So today I woke up feeling sorry for myself and picked up the girls and we went to church. I mean at least I have someone to spend it with. right? So we went to church (me still feeling sorry for myself of course) and I sit down. They are singing some of my favorite songs and I am enjoying myself.... then I'm watching this couple in front of me that make me want to... how do I say this? Throw up? Vomit? Yell in the middle of service "Get a room?" All of those things seemed like good options to me and the girls as well. So in comes a good looking man and where does he sit? Oh a few seats down from me... how do I feel then? Pleased of course and you will be pleased to know that I DID pay attention for the rest of the service.... and I was also pleased that he participated and didn't seem like an awkward twenty-something like almost every other boy in that church. So anyways... God laughed at me and I know he had this very good looking single man sit next to me so he could laugh. Thanks for reminding me God...that you are faithful! (and) You do like to make me laugh too!
Laughing still... Melis