Two summers ago, I stood in front of a group of around 50 teenage to young 20-something girls. I knew I was going to be in that position all 6 weeks I spent in South Africa but writing down what to say and actually saying it are nerve racking and completely different.
I was in a church in Kabwe, Zambia. I had just spent 6 weeks with a sweet missionary family homeschooling their preteen girls. I had planned what I was going to say in Zambia during that time but couldn't have planned for the emotions that came with it.
During college, I worked at a church in Tennessee with teen girls--- I love,love, loved that job and still adore those girls. They changed my life. After moving to Vegas, I worked with girls for about a year as a volunteer at Hope until I felt God said step out for a season. I did, trusting that He knew something I didn't. He did, of course. During those following three years until I was speaking to girls in Africa, He did a lot in me, including stirring my heart for the nations, the lost and people who just needed someone, including the homeless. I served the city in my school and with my kids and it did something different in me but I desperately missed the connection that I had with girls to pour into.
I had no idea he would have my heart stilled for a period of time so He could use me in Zambia. I stood before the girls and shared my heartbreaks, thoughts on relationships and pursuing purity and above all else, pursuing Jesus. At the end, I taught them the chorus to "How He Loves." They sounded beautiful and I couldn't help but step back and thank Jesus selfishly for reminding me of how much He loved me. I pray that God continues to use those words to sing a sweet Zambian girl to sleep to remind her of His deep and vast love for her.
He brought this to mind again tonight and as I sat back in my bed singing my thanks to Him for loving me. I felt an urgency to share this. I pray that you would know the same. I pray Paul's prayer in Ephesians 3:17-19, "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
He does love you. -Melis
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
28 Words.
I am a words person. I love words. I thrive from encouragement. I cringe from discouragement. I am my own worst critic. Over the last (now) 28 years of my life, there have been several words that have spoken Truth to me and others that have not. Listed below are 28... they're not really in any specific order... some serious, some not so, but they are words. May we consider how words change people for both good and bad. :) -newly 28 year old girl
1. Grace- Jesus's sweet grace and redemption to me. What a gift to be grateful for.
2. Faithfulness- The one word that describes Jesus to me... His faithfulness never changes.
3. Family- A close and crazy family who shaped my life growing up through trials and happy moments.
4. Teacher- One of the biggest choices I made in life and one I am most grateful for.
5. Paycheck- Who knew that a little extra money would mean extra bills? I regret that I wasn't told this sooner!
6. Africa- Part of my heart is on that continent in the eyes of some small, dirty faces and sweet friends.
7. Nations- God called my heart to them here in Las Vegas and across the world.
8. Kids- I dream about them, work with them, gripe about them, and ultimately love them.
9. Future- See next word ;)
10. Anxiety- A word that sometimes rules my heart and mind through fear... what is to happen?
11. Straightener- Thank you Jesus that my kids at school have never seen this frizz ball without it.
12. School- Student, Teacher, Student... I can't get away from it!
13. Friendship- Equivalent to Day Makers... so grateful for people who have loved the heck out of me.
14. Music- Singing in the shower, humming in Walmart loudly, defined me as a high schooler.. kept me away from things I may have been a part of otherwise.
15. Poverty- Social injustice at the root... my mind constantly thinks what do we do about it? How do I respond to it? How do people get out of it?
16. At-risk- A word used to define students in impoverished neighborhoods but we're probably all really this.
17. Mission- Daily, Weekly, Annually... not just a place a go, but a place I am.
18. Mentor- Men and women who have walked the path before me willing to pour their lives out to me so that I can give away my life to others.
19. Makeup- A little addicted recently...
20. Summer- This past one was the first time I've spent in the US time zones... a great reason to sleep, catch up on TV, take classes, read, and think that every kid in every public place you're in is saying, "Miss Gillespie."
21. Books- A student asked me last year how I became so smart. Read people, you'll become smarter.
22. Dandelion- Reminder that God is faithful and grants dreams that He placed to begin with.
23. Stars- Connections to something I don't often understand but another gift of His beautiful faithfulness.
24. Holocaust- A tragic event that changed the course of history that I am a little obsessed with... yearning question, How do people become so evil? More importantly, how do people stand by?
25. Genocide- Directly related to the Holocaust... I've learned of so much courage in fear of people who could have been killed at any moment. Again, how do people stand by?
26. Leadership- A crazy skill that I've for some reason been given and a class of 18 kids that sometimes makes me completely insane.
27. Me- My biggest enemy.
28. Believe- There is good somewhere in people. One of my goals is to help them find it and be that way. My belief in Jesus and His redemption is the only hope I have in this.
1. Grace- Jesus's sweet grace and redemption to me. What a gift to be grateful for.
2. Faithfulness- The one word that describes Jesus to me... His faithfulness never changes.
3. Family- A close and crazy family who shaped my life growing up through trials and happy moments.
4. Teacher- One of the biggest choices I made in life and one I am most grateful for.
5. Paycheck- Who knew that a little extra money would mean extra bills? I regret that I wasn't told this sooner!
6. Africa- Part of my heart is on that continent in the eyes of some small, dirty faces and sweet friends.
7. Nations- God called my heart to them here in Las Vegas and across the world.
8. Kids- I dream about them, work with them, gripe about them, and ultimately love them.
9. Future- See next word ;)
10. Anxiety- A word that sometimes rules my heart and mind through fear... what is to happen?
11. Straightener- Thank you Jesus that my kids at school have never seen this frizz ball without it.
12. School- Student, Teacher, Student... I can't get away from it!
13. Friendship- Equivalent to Day Makers... so grateful for people who have loved the heck out of me.
14. Music- Singing in the shower, humming in Walmart loudly, defined me as a high schooler.. kept me away from things I may have been a part of otherwise.
15. Poverty- Social injustice at the root... my mind constantly thinks what do we do about it? How do I respond to it? How do people get out of it?
16. At-risk- A word used to define students in impoverished neighborhoods but we're probably all really this.
17. Mission- Daily, Weekly, Annually... not just a place a go, but a place I am.
18. Mentor- Men and women who have walked the path before me willing to pour their lives out to me so that I can give away my life to others.
19. Makeup- A little addicted recently...
20. Summer- This past one was the first time I've spent in the US time zones... a great reason to sleep, catch up on TV, take classes, read, and think that every kid in every public place you're in is saying, "Miss Gillespie."
21. Books- A student asked me last year how I became so smart. Read people, you'll become smarter.
22. Dandelion- Reminder that God is faithful and grants dreams that He placed to begin with.
23. Stars- Connections to something I don't often understand but another gift of His beautiful faithfulness.
24. Holocaust- A tragic event that changed the course of history that I am a little obsessed with... yearning question, How do people become so evil? More importantly, how do people stand by?
25. Genocide- Directly related to the Holocaust... I've learned of so much courage in fear of people who could have been killed at any moment. Again, how do people stand by?
26. Leadership- A crazy skill that I've for some reason been given and a class of 18 kids that sometimes makes me completely insane.
27. Me- My biggest enemy.
28. Believe- There is good somewhere in people. One of my goals is to help them find it and be that way. My belief in Jesus and His redemption is the only hope I have in this.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Wonderful
It is the season that most of us either go crazy (and broke) by stressing out about gifts for people in our lives that we want to show love to or we sit back and really enjoy the lights, the music, the busyness of everyone, the baking and so on. Some people really take this time of year to be reminded of how grateful they are for what they have and what they have had. Since I didn't go home to Georgia, I have a lot of time this weekend to work on homework for my Master's program and another online class (Desperately need this time to catch up and get ahead) while also spending some time with friends and my adopted family here in Vegas.
Yesterday, I spent the morning getting my Thanksgiving portion of the meal ready and cleaning up my apartment a bit. I went to a fabulous late lunch Thanksgiving with my adopted family here and then went to see Lincoln with a couple of friends. (Sidenote: See it, don't wait, it's good... I wish I could sit down face to face and talk to Lincoln especially after watching that. He was one of the greatest movers and shakers of all time.) They were going to hit the early Black Friday rush and asked me if I wanted to join. I did so we went to Target and Old Navy, spent the majority of our time standing in line but people were actually overall kind and no one was too pushy. We had a lot of funny conversation and those around us joined in a couple of times. I got home around 2am and went to sleep finally around 3am because I hit my wired point by the time we were done. I got a few things but it was the time spent with friends that was valuable.
Today, as I sit at home watching some Netflix and getting ready to do some homework, I thought of the hymn, "His Name is Wonderful." There are so many hymns that I remember from when I was in middle school and high school because that's what we sang at my home church. The lyrics are...
"His Name is Wonderful,
His Name is Wonderful,
His Name is Wonderful,
Jesus, my Lord.
He is the mighty King,
Master of everything,
His Name is Wonderful,
Jesus, my Lord.
He's the Great Shepherd,
The Rocky of all Ages,
Almighty God is He.
Bow down before Him,
Love and adore Him,
His Name is Wonderful,
Jesus, my Lord."
As I sit and think on this long weekend and the season we are in, I think I must remember what it (and every other season of my life) is about. He is wonderful. He knows our deepest needs and that need is not the sweater on sale at the mall. May He protect you and demonstrate His faithfulness to you in this season as He continually does to me. I am grateful that He is wonderful. -Melissa
Yesterday, I spent the morning getting my Thanksgiving portion of the meal ready and cleaning up my apartment a bit. I went to a fabulous late lunch Thanksgiving with my adopted family here and then went to see Lincoln with a couple of friends. (Sidenote: See it, don't wait, it's good... I wish I could sit down face to face and talk to Lincoln especially after watching that. He was one of the greatest movers and shakers of all time.) They were going to hit the early Black Friday rush and asked me if I wanted to join. I did so we went to Target and Old Navy, spent the majority of our time standing in line but people were actually overall kind and no one was too pushy. We had a lot of funny conversation and those around us joined in a couple of times. I got home around 2am and went to sleep finally around 3am because I hit my wired point by the time we were done. I got a few things but it was the time spent with friends that was valuable.
Today, as I sit at home watching some Netflix and getting ready to do some homework, I thought of the hymn, "His Name is Wonderful." There are so many hymns that I remember from when I was in middle school and high school because that's what we sang at my home church. The lyrics are...
"His Name is Wonderful,
His Name is Wonderful,
His Name is Wonderful,
Jesus, my Lord.
He is the mighty King,
Master of everything,
His Name is Wonderful,
Jesus, my Lord.
He's the Great Shepherd,
The Rocky of all Ages,
Almighty God is He.
Bow down before Him,
Love and adore Him,
His Name is Wonderful,
Jesus, my Lord."
As I sit and think on this long weekend and the season we are in, I think I must remember what it (and every other season of my life) is about. He is wonderful. He knows our deepest needs and that need is not the sweater on sale at the mall. May He protect you and demonstrate His faithfulness to you in this season as He continually does to me. I am grateful that He is wonderful. -Melissa
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Stealing a million bucks.
This year I am struggling to connect to students. I stress about it, it makes me feel like I'm not doing my job. I feel like I have become the wicked witch/dictator of the west. It's not really an okay feeling. I think it's funny sometimes that the kids mention they are scared of me to me but for goodness' sakes, this group of kids need to be scared of something or someone!!
My third year teaching I had a phenomenal group of kids. I know I've mentioned them in several blogs- faces and names that I will never forget because they made me and allowed me to love my job. On my birthday that year, I received more love than I had felt in a long time, it wasn't just gifts- they were thoughtful. It wasn't just chocolate cake- it was Ms. Gillespie likes chocolate and we think she would like this. There were sweet cards and flowers and songs. It was maybe one of the best birthdays of my life thus far. I felt loved most of the time that year. When I talked and shared something personal, there wasn't an expression that said I was lying... There were moments of "she was me 10 years ago." She's not really that different. She's human. They made me feel like a million bucks most of the time.
I realized tonight in my personal weekly reflection that I struggle with kids the most when they don't make me feel good about myself, my teaching, or my personal choices. They steal my million bucks. They will rarely return it or give part of it back and I just get irritated, lose patience, and flip the heck out like nobody's ever seen. They don't pay because they've never been paid. Somewhere along the line, someone else stole their million bucks. They can't seem to find it or convict the person who did it so what better way to deal with that than stealing others' million bucks?
I find that I am sometimes the victim and many times the thief using my insecurities as an excuse to take what is not mine, I cannot make myself feel better so why should anyone else?
I am committing to working on this area. I am bound and determined to stop stealing others' million bucks and return those I have stolen, to get mine back and not let anyone else have it unless they need it... Then I'm willing to give it up.
What or who has stolen your million bucks? Are you willing to join me in the search for it? In the meantime, will you join me in paying those who need it more than we do?
As usual- I'm living there. Melissa
My third year teaching I had a phenomenal group of kids. I know I've mentioned them in several blogs- faces and names that I will never forget because they made me and allowed me to love my job. On my birthday that year, I received more love than I had felt in a long time, it wasn't just gifts- they were thoughtful. It wasn't just chocolate cake- it was Ms. Gillespie likes chocolate and we think she would like this. There were sweet cards and flowers and songs. It was maybe one of the best birthdays of my life thus far. I felt loved most of the time that year. When I talked and shared something personal, there wasn't an expression that said I was lying... There were moments of "she was me 10 years ago." She's not really that different. She's human. They made me feel like a million bucks most of the time.
I realized tonight in my personal weekly reflection that I struggle with kids the most when they don't make me feel good about myself, my teaching, or my personal choices. They steal my million bucks. They will rarely return it or give part of it back and I just get irritated, lose patience, and flip the heck out like nobody's ever seen. They don't pay because they've never been paid. Somewhere along the line, someone else stole their million bucks. They can't seem to find it or convict the person who did it so what better way to deal with that than stealing others' million bucks?
I find that I am sometimes the victim and many times the thief using my insecurities as an excuse to take what is not mine, I cannot make myself feel better so why should anyone else?
I am committing to working on this area. I am bound and determined to stop stealing others' million bucks and return those I have stolen, to get mine back and not let anyone else have it unless they need it... Then I'm willing to give it up.
What or who has stolen your million bucks? Are you willing to join me in the search for it? In the meantime, will you join me in paying those who need it more than we do?
As usual- I'm living there. Melissa
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Standing Still
"Standing still isn't easy when the world's moving backwards." -Ben Rector
This song was written way before nominees for the presidential candidate were chosen. I'm not sure it really had anything to do with a specific topic except maybe a bit of frustration from the song writer. I think we can glean some Truth from it though.
Adam and Eve and the Fall placed sin on humanity for all time. Notice that humanity is not human, speaking of a certain person, or human groups, a specific group of people. It meant we all sinned... Born with sin in us. We may have the intention to do what's right but at the core of who we are as humans, we are not good. That's why the Bible states we "battle with our flesh." We talked about in my small group last night how sin shows up differently in each of us. My life wasn't a portrait of parties and alcohol addiction but it showed up in my worry and anxiety, in my struggle to keep my thought life clean, and in my daily battle of not trusting God. Sin is sin though. Our sins may reap different consequences based on our society and culture and government but at the end of the day, I am in desperate need of the same grace extended to a murderer.
I think the artist of this song was talking about the human condition. Aka sin. The world continues to sin, that hasn't changed. There is still a desire to do good in some, that hasn't changed. We all don't deserve grace but it has been given freely to us.
We can't stand still as Christians in a world of sin. "The world is moving backwards" so to say as it has been since the Fall. Man will not correct this behavior but Jesus will in grace and redemption. May we be reminded that our hope is in a man not of this world. Thank you Jesus that I don't have to trust either candidate for grace. It has been extended to me freely. I'm grateful. I must stop standing still.
Will you join me?? -Melissa
This song was written way before nominees for the presidential candidate were chosen. I'm not sure it really had anything to do with a specific topic except maybe a bit of frustration from the song writer. I think we can glean some Truth from it though.
Adam and Eve and the Fall placed sin on humanity for all time. Notice that humanity is not human, speaking of a certain person, or human groups, a specific group of people. It meant we all sinned... Born with sin in us. We may have the intention to do what's right but at the core of who we are as humans, we are not good. That's why the Bible states we "battle with our flesh." We talked about in my small group last night how sin shows up differently in each of us. My life wasn't a portrait of parties and alcohol addiction but it showed up in my worry and anxiety, in my struggle to keep my thought life clean, and in my daily battle of not trusting God. Sin is sin though. Our sins may reap different consequences based on our society and culture and government but at the end of the day, I am in desperate need of the same grace extended to a murderer.
I think the artist of this song was talking about the human condition. Aka sin. The world continues to sin, that hasn't changed. There is still a desire to do good in some, that hasn't changed. We all don't deserve grace but it has been given freely to us.
We can't stand still as Christians in a world of sin. "The world is moving backwards" so to say as it has been since the Fall. Man will not correct this behavior but Jesus will in grace and redemption. May we be reminded that our hope is in a man not of this world. Thank you Jesus that I don't have to trust either candidate for grace. It has been extended to me freely. I'm grateful. I must stop standing still.
Will you join me?? -Melissa
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Dear Church.
Dear Church---
Lift up your eyes to Jesus. He is STILL as sovereign as He was 4 years ago and as He was yesterday and He's still in control and still know's what's going on. It's amazing how quick I am to look at the situation around me, at my school, in my apartment complex, on the road, everywhere and make rash decisions about the people in those places without knowing anything about them. Let us stop standing back with our arms crossed pledging allegiance to a specific political party and being angry at all the other Americans who do not agree. Let us act like the church. If we as the church acted like the church, we would eliminate poverty, have good relations with most other countries, change the face of education and healthcare and so many other things. So do not sit still my friends... now or ever for that matter is not the time to do so. We must move, we must pray for our families, our friends, our neighbors, our co-workers, our government leaders. We must do something. There must be something different in us that many people have not seen for the last month. We believe in Jesus and we must put our faith out, not just on paper and not just in our church buildings. We must move. Instead of complaining, are you doing something? Are you praying for someone? Are you being Jesus?
I urge you to go there... to be Light... to change something for the name of the Kingdom.
I'm not there... I'm praying too... I'm in it for Kingdom Change. -Melis
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