Sunday night, I was walking into church and James, the student pastor, stopped me and said, "Happy Mother's Day and I mean that because you have more kids than anyone sitting in that room." It took a lot out of me to not cry at that very second. Holidays are hard without family and when you feel a little purposeless but he's right... I have a dang huge group of crazies. All mine. All non-genetic crazies... taught crazy.
Today, I read a message from a student I've had this year who recently decided to go to a different school so he could take more classes at a time. He said this in his struggling English:
"I could not tell all the thanks that I want say, thanks for all ms, I never forget every single thing that you do you do for me, thanks for believe in me, trust me, when I come to this country all the people that I knew, told me that in this country nobody helped to anybody here, thanks for change that, you have a big, so big heart, i wish a lot success in your life."
You're telling me one is enough?
One is never enough.
Tell my boy who sent this message that one is enough... what if he came too late or didn't speak English well enough for me to stop and see him? He's not my only kid... he's not. And he knew that. His care was singled out because of his effort but I have a one in every class throughout the day. (on a bad day!) I saw a post earlier that said if you can impact one student by the end of the year, then you've done your work or something... really? I could not disagree more. One is not enough. And I could argue this with you all day long, which would be the biggest waste of my time ever.
If I have 75 students come into my classroom and I have impacted one, I fail. I used to have 150-200 every day, imagine that I only picked one? I would be a terrible teacher!
If the case is that I only impact one, I don't do my job. I fail the 74 who walk in and out that are never impacted. That makes me a crappy person and a crappy human being. ((My kids don't know they are my favorite and most stressful project/love.)) I'm going to ask them the hard questions and get on their level and ask them what's wrong when they least expect it (hence the crying weeks I have sometimes).
I hate the fairness argument but I love it all the same. I'm NOT saying that I impact every kid. You should know that I don't get along with a lot of snotty high school girls because they are snotty high school girls and they don't want to get along. There's some kids that don't click with me but really love some of their other teachers and I've gotten to the point to where I'm okay with that.
BUT, if we go back to the 'one theory' how fair am I to the 75 kids I have when I'm basically telling them... "Hey, you know what? I have only one kid to impact this year and if you're the lucky one, you might be it!" That sounds stupid and if you're angry about this whole thing, it's because you love the one theory. The 'one' theory makes me cringe. It makes me hurt and it makes me wonder whether my teachers thought I was good enough to the be 'the one' in my classes. My teachers didn't see it like that. We were all equally annoying and equally loved.
I'm glad my parents didn't believe the 'one' theory. They didn't pick favorites. Tell me how ridiculous parents would look if they had three kids and said, "If I can spend my life and impact one." They would be considered the worst parents of all time and I would have to agree with them. They're the worst.
What if nurses and doctors believed the one theory? "Well, we got to one today!" Well, I'm sorry but you had 15 patients in a night and 24 appointments. I think they all expected to be impacted in some way!
The starfish story is one of my favorites but it's also baloney. What that little boy was doing was taking handfuls of starfish and making a difference to them... to the many... to the masses. No one told you that part because they don't want to make you feel bad. What he was actually looking for was a bucket so he could pick them up in larger quantities. So he could make bigger and better change. He did impact the ones he threw back one by one but it was still done in mass. They may have felt the effects were individual but they were also thankful for the friends and family of starfish who were tossed back in too.
Dear friends-- please stop believing that your life was placed here to impact one person. It may only be one person a day or one person that week but what if the true reality was that we could impact one person per hour? That changes our 1 to 24 and our 1 to 48. What if I we just went with one a day? We could impact 365 people a year.
Now tell me what you would prefer... 1 or 24? 1 or 365? I'll take the 365 and wear myself out over it because someone believed I was the one but I was the one worth it in the moment... those people are now impacting other people and the cycle reproduces. Stop believing the lie.You were meant for more. SO. much. more. And so was I. And it's not going to be easy but you will be thankful in the end. Because maybe only one will actually tell you what you meant to them. The other 74 won't say a word, but you impacted them all the same. The one just was brave enough to say thanks.
-Melis
