Why every kid in the world needs a loving parent

Over this past week, there is a slight, small spark that has exploded in me. It was there before but it seems to keep burning a little brighter and a little bigger and a little warmer. I sat in a Holocaust Conference last week with seven 8th grade students who were excited. They were hearing an author speak and two Holocaust survivors share. So much change for their sweet, mostly innocent minds. I love watching their eyes when important people are in front of them. There's a light there. It's sad we don't often foster those lights, we tell them to shut them off. I can't anymore. I just can't. Not for most of these kids... because as the year progresses, their lights turn electricity on in large rooms and makes a conversation with a friend a little more enjoyable and makes a classroom discussion interesting. What turns them off? I began to talk to them about going to Washington, DC. That city burns a flame in me because of it's rich history and my experiences there.... cue background story :) You're welcome. 

(This is told as I remember it... it's probably biased and not completely accurate.) When I entered middle school, I was not a popular kid. I was more of a popular mess. I was smart but not smart enough. In 2nd grade, I had a teacher I will never forget. She told me she thought I could read on a 5th grade reading level. Thus, I am a reader, a loving- throw your whole life and escape into a reality that probably doesn't exist reader. Seriously. BUT I had apparently been a reader before. My parents bought my sister and I TONS of books. We had a very large book shelf in the playroom and it was full of books... books that taught us character traits, Winnie- the- Pooh, small insects with funny names, Berenstein Bears, encyclopedias, etc.. They were ours to devour. And devour I did... I pulled them all off the shelf and reorganized (thus developing a slight case of OCD as well :) ). I read, I taught my sister (or more bossed her around), and took roll call with our invisible class and whoever was at our house. We played our hearts out. We read, we taught, and we learned. Most of the time, I was the teacher, because again, I was bossy. There it is. Confessed. 

Just imagine though... imagine that I was more of a Matilda character with a love for reading who had no books! Sounds devastating and horrible to me at the moment. While my teacher encouraged my enthusiasm for reading, I really have to credit my parents with a love for reading. They bought books. They read to and with me and Trista. We read Winnie-the-Pooh and the Pebble Hunt so much with my dad that the book just fell apart over time. We were able to imagine and build things and create things because we had the ability to read and we had something to read. Fast-forward to middle school. At the beginning of the year, all 6th grade students took a math test. Turns out that the two highest scoring students (myself and another boy) were not in the Gifted program and had both been turned down previously due to test scores. (We'll show you Gifted and Talented programs!!!) Needless to say, we were both in Gifted classes shortly after. Our classes were pull out classes that served as additions to our regular classes. Now fast forward to me as a 7th and 8th grade student (still an awkward middle schooler)... I went on a trip out of the city/drive-thru of little Cave Spring and even the vast metropolis of Rome (okay, that was over the top) to travel all around Georgia with 2 bus loads of middle school students AND I went to DC on a bus trip with my gifted program. I do not remember my parents  ever mentioning costs. My sister and I went on tons of trips in middle school and high school and I don't ever remember my parents saying anything. We did lots of chorus stuff and cheerleading and church stuff... we weren't cheap kids by any means. (Sorry Mom and Dad!) I'm sure they did talk about it but we had no clue. We went and I'm sure we begged for spending money, early allowances, and extra money from the grandparents. (I've blocked that out of my memory apparently.) My parents sent us and were nervous but saw every trip and group and everything as a new opportunity. They also used these types of things to teach us the importance of sticking to our word, following through, and commitment. Thank you again loving parents! 

When I see the light in my students' eyes at school, I often see a flicker. It goes in and out... depending on the day. They have a million things going through their brain. Like every middle schooler on the planet, I felt I was a victim to the earth and therefore had the weight of the world on my shoulders, when in all reality, it was pretty easy. Although it may have stretched our family, I didn't really know. I just knew what I wanted (bratty middle schoolers). And this leads me to my final point... I had loving parents. I had a mom and dad who worked their butts off to have Christmas, to give us huge sleep overs for our birthdays, to let us go on trips, to buy me a name brand pair of jeans, to get a new dress for homecoming and Prom, and I could go on and on for at least 25 blogs of just things they gave us or helped us with or lessons I learned from them (and continue to learn). It was never that my parents did those things or bought those things for us because they were earning our love... they did it out of love, even if it meant they had to sacrifice something else they may have wanted. Love was the motivator. Sometimes my kids at school have flickering unloved eyes and it makes me so heartbroken for them. I want them to experience life to the fullest, without a care, like I was able to. My exposure to the US and the world goes back to the love my parents had to let me go and become independent as an early, awkward teenager. 

I urge you to ignite flames in the next generation, as a parent, a small group leader, a teacher, a pastor, a mentor, or just a human being. Stop turning the lights off. Turn the light on and don't leave them... what experiences do they need to grow and know how to love? We have lots at Mack and I'm thrilled to be a part of it... pray for on-switches and no wet matches. Love you. -Melissa

AND Mom and Daddy-- I literally could not thank you enough for not letting my light flicker for long. Thank you for being a spark that left the light on. Thank you for making it brighter by helping pay for college and being my biggest fans... and thank you for still encouraging my dreams. I will stand behind the fact that I want to send some of my school kids home to stay with you. Love you both lots and lots. 

Astounded by Mercy and Love

I got the sweet privilege of going out to Boulder City this morning for church. I love the small town atmosphere, so quaint and personable. And honestly, because it's not the small town I'm from, it just feels different. I had originally gone out to meet a friend for lunch and to talk about our venture from a book we've both been reading, Seven by Jen Hatmaker. The idea and concept of Seven is to give up consumerism, to stop buying into the lie of the American dream of "stuff." I love the idea of this but don't necessarily love thinking about carrying it out. In the service, the first words of the first song were "We have all we need in You." I looked at Pam and said "Oh great." It literally could not have been more perfect. It's true. I have too much stuff and I don't need it. My apartment is a disaster as I write this but it's a disaster because God's wrecking the consumerism part of me. I decided to take up the venture of recycling. It's inconvenience in this city is just something beyond me and I find myself just giving it up. I have a bag of clothes and DVD's begging to at least be taken to my garage for Heaven's sake and another bag in the process of being cleaned up and tied up and taken out. Let me be clear: I HAVE TOO MUCH. So I'm processing what it looks like to clean it up and out.

With that being said, I do the same thing in my journey with Jesus. I have filled my Christian life up with so much stuff. Neal talked about it this morning... our need for works over just straight up loving Jesus. Why do I feel I need to perform to earn Jesus? Why do I need to have stuff to please people? These are the questions I'm battling people and they're a bit over my head at the moment.

It's in these moments that if I step back and let God speak to me, He breathes deep life in and I get to exhale every one of my anxieties and suppressed emotions. I just get to be me. And He just loves me. He loves me past my stuff and past my works. He doesn't need or want either of those things. He simply wants me. If I could breathe that more often than the American dream, I would be in a better place.

He is still restoring me. I keep thinking that maybe one day I'll have to change the title of my blog, but I'm not so sure because I keep finding that He restores my brokenness with His love and faithfulness to me. Another song from this morning...

"Lord, we stand amazed in your presence.
Astounded by Your mercy and love.
Our hands are lifted high in surrender.
Your grace for me is always enough.

There is no one higher than our God."

Thank you Jesus... you fill in the places of my unfulfilled dreams and desires with your mercy and love and you're recovering my addiction to stuff with your grace. I am grateful. -Melis

Marital status: Highest tax paying bracket

I sat here thinking about recent posts, why I should do my homework, why the mean girls stay until the end of bachelor (until now-- thank you Sean!!), why I'm in a bad mood the afternoon on the day before an event and why every year, I want to validly boycott Valentine's Day. Why I want to wear all black to school tomorrow. Why my kids will give me candy I will never eat. Why I would like to go to Olive Garden for dinner, possibly alone.

The real question you're all asking... Mentally or you've verbally asked before.... "Why are you still single? Are you ever going to get married? Why do you have such high standards?" I usually walk away from these conversations with the satisfaction I have done one of two things: given you an extremely sarcastic answer OR looked at you like you were insane. When I'm walking away, there are always tears. Guaranteed. Maybe not that second but at some point, yes. So even though, I've probably been inhumanly rude, I am deeply hurt.

I am at my best to believe and trust God knows what's best for me. With that being said, that's why I'm single. God is not finished with my singleness. I don't buy into the "Run away into the world and live your single life for Jesus!" Even though I know it appears in retrospect that's exactly what I've done. I also don't buy into the "You're 28 and don't have much time left." On who's time table are we working here?? I do choose to live my life keenly aware of glorifying God (although hot mess may be a more accurate description). I will do that single or in a relationship. I can trust God now, while being single, or at some point, in a relationship. God knows what's best for me now and He will then. He hasn't lost sight of His love for me, and He will not.

So please. Instead of asking me (or any other single friends either) why we're single...Why don't you NOT tell us why we're single? We've already thought through every reason in the universe... And don't need another one to think or dwell on. Why don't you ask us what we are praying for? Why don't you just pray for us? Why don't you assure us that God is surely in the works of something that fulfills our hearts' desires beyond our wildest dreams? We know we're single... But help clarify our vision for Him and our hope in Him.

We need people who assure us of Gods best for us. We don't need people who lead us to be confused and doubt what God is doing in us.

A man who can sing and love Jesus is coming for me. There will be pictures. I will be wearing a white dress that will be stunning and he will be hot so prepare yourselves. We will probably laugh at our wedding, a lot, so don't assume we're being rude or offensive. I will be feisty, and he will be patient, and opposite. FYI: It will probably be his fault I'm feisty.

That's what you can pray for. God's best for me. That's why I'm single. I'm waiting for God's best for me. -Melis