The admiration of a mystery.

We live in a world that tells everything. Everyone knows everything about everyone.

If you want, you can figure out what someone has eaten for breakfast, lunch, and dinner; what they've worn; the sunset on their way home; the license plate number of the person in front of them; the funniest things their kids said; etc. You get the point. You don't have to see the person face to face or even carry on a conversation through a text to figure out what has actually happened. So you will see why it is extremely rare that we don't know everything about a person.

I think a mystery and a good secret is something to be admired. (I'm not talking about things that are secrets because they're bad-- I'm just talking about something that not everyone knows.) That's why the whole world was shocked (okay, not the entire world, but the Bachelor world was) that Sharleen went home last week. Oh. She went home by choice. Juan Pablo didn't send her home.

Here's the thing: not everyone knew everything about her. And in other shocking news, she was smart. She was not some stupid girl "looking for love" while all of national TV watchers share in her excitement and sadness. Yes, she was looking for love but she realized she wanted something more than a person who is just physically attracted to her. Or a person who could only say "Wow" about her. I mean maybe if the wow was for her brains, her beauty and her in general-- it would have worked but the wow existed for only her physical beauty. And she wasn't an idiot. She knew the ENTIRE time and YET, she stuck it out for some time without wearing her entire heart on her sleeve. She left and Juan Pablo didn't know everything in the world about her.

I admire that. I admire her thoughtfulness and the fact that she left mystery there. Often, we are told to "Be ourselves" and there's nothing wrong with that. I absolutely admire people who are themselves without being insecure. (I am terrible at this 50% of the time.) We should be us through and through. I think that Sharleen is pensive and intelligent and beautiful regardless of whether she's on national TV or not. She did not change because of a reality show. Isn't it somewhat ironic? That most people are someone else on reality shows? That they forget who they really are and become something that reality TV begs them to be?

There must be a mystery left to bare. After thinking and reading about love a good bit of today, I am at my end to believe that it is not purposed that we wear our hearts on our sleeves and everyone knows everything. And you know what?? For some people, it is your thing for everyone to know everything. But do not be offended by those of us who tend to be less inclined to tell all. We are not meaning to be offensive. We are probably more insecure but I think everyone enjoys a great mystery.

I mean, isn't that what we love about Pride and Prejudice? If you knew Lizzie and Darcy should be together the whole time, you wouldn't watch the movie. It makes no sense. Except the mystery. Then it does make some sense. And you too want them to be together.

So I encourage you-- surprise someone this week. Share a mystery if you must or keep a secret to be revealed at the best time. Be sensitive. There will be moments when this will all make sense.

And yes, this was mostly written to myself. Just in a public forum. There was your surprise. (Wink, wink. And don't worry-- I'm continuing to live somewhere in the middle or I wouldn't be writing this blog to myself. Okay-- most of the time. Believe me-- most of the time, you don't want to know what's going on in my messy head.)

Love you-Melis :)

Why I'm becoming a pushover for #vday14.

It's valentine's day week and just slightly so. My kids are super excited and I actually don't want to set the world on fire over it so I guess that's some sort of progress this year. Notice the word "some." Just want to make that clear. I've already made plans with some of my favorite sweet girls from church to dress up, get out of the house and go hang out somewhere and "pretend like we don't care, even though we do." Ha. #overdramatic I know but what else did you expect? That will be my motto anyways. Don't tell them that. I want them to have a healthy view of life and sometimes I don't promote that. Ha. 

So I just wanted to share some of my favorite things about love aka why I'm actually super emotional and mushy about love in general... Mostly quirky things that are totally me but maybe you'll think of your own. And maybe you too can finally admit that you do or think the same things. You're welcome for the freedom you are about to gain from this list. 

1. Love songs. Shut up and serenade me already. No really. I adore love songs, the ridiculous lyrics, the couple singing together. I mean let's jump on a boat and go out to the middle of a lake to release paper lanterns with the whole kingdom, shall we? 

2. Romantic comedies.... I've recently decided that I will write one. Sort of kidding but sort of not. Tell me one romantic comedy that doesn't have the happiest ending ever. Tell me. See// none. They have sad beginnings but happy endings. I'm going to do my best to be so unrealistic that we will finally let go of the denial in our lives that is our own reality. Happy beginnings and happy endings? Yes to both. 

3. Disney movies. I mean even animals fall in love on these things. How is that so? The way I feel about love can be summed up in the scene from "Tangled" below. 

Mixed emotions everyday. Does he like me? Oh no he likes me! This is the best feeling ever! Will he rip out my heart? (Okay, not literally, everyone calm down.) You get the point. 

4. Wedding pins on Pinterest. Who created that category? It will potentially be an anxiety attack for me at some point but for now, I am planning a wedding for me and about a hundred other million people according to my boards. Let me know if you need some ideas, I have just a few I'm willing to give for free. 

5. Ice cream, dinner and cheesecake. And in that order please. Food just makes me ridiculously happy and makes me happy to be around people. And yes, I'm willing to sacrifice a salad for a piece of S'mores cheesecake, at no extra cost to you. You're welcome for that too. 

6. Sweet surprises. Maybe flowers are some of my favorites because you never know they're coming. One of my kids brought me flowers for my birthday and I just adore them because of it. I'm a spoiled brat (as mentioned in multiple previous posts) and I know I'll get a few notes and sweet words from my kids who are learning so much and most importantly, learning how to treat people well. Also, in college, I had a valentine one year and he sent me flowers and I made them live in water as long as humanly possible because I admired the gesture so much. Again, it's the little things. 

7. Pride and Prejudice. The movie. After we release paper lanterns with the kingdom, please meet me in the middle of a field while the sun rises. And then tell me what an incredible idiot you've been and how wrong you were and how much you actually do adore me. Yeah. That pretty much sums it up. After that, I'll make my own confessions or just listen. I haven't quite decided yet. But really, I don't know a girl who doesn't want a Mr. Darcy or Mr. Bingley yet so I'm sticking to my opinions on this. 

So all that to say. Yes, I'm still wearing a black dress for Valentines night out but that's because I have so many and I like it. But it's not because I'm upset or am mourning the whole month :) also- if you're going to be rude about how ridiculous this post is, please write it on an actual piece of paper and then throw it away. I'm in complete confession mode on how absolutely ridiculous I am so there. 

May you too find something you love or find totally ridiculous about #vday14! 

Love, love, love- Melis :) 

What my Daddy taught me about love.

Growing up, my sister and I literally lived childhood dreams. We didn't have every toy or piece of clothing we wanted but we had a lot/too much and my dad and both grandfathers made sure we were spoiled little girls. Way way spoiled little girls. Like I'm not sure that Trista and I ever walked long distances ourselves- pretty sure Daddy carried our bratty butts 90% of the time. 

As a kid, you don't think about much that your parents teach you but when you start working with kids and become somewhat of a mom- you start thinking about all of that stuff and then you start sharing all that stuff and all the love that you always took for granted. During my 3rd year of teaching, I realized how much of what my parents taught me really shaped who I was and what I was passing on to the 200 kids that sat with me for an hour each day. This year, I turn 30 and maybe I'm finally becoming a little more sentimental (like my dad). So These are some things my dad taught me about love in the process of my childhood, teen years, and even as an adult... 

1. Love is protection. When you truly love someone, you care enough to guard and protect them. Love provides too. Exactly what is needed. I can't even count the multiple times my sister and I set off our house alarm in high school when we would stay home in the summer. 

2. Love risks. Sometimes too much. Sometimes not enough. Sometimes it fails and falls apart. Sometimes it surprises us and becomes better than what we would have hoped. My parents were young when they joined the parenthood journey but they learned and reflected and changed and became better and still always pursue being better as parents of adults and leaders to teenagers. 

3. Love means putting someone else before yourself. You go without something because you so love someone that you want them to have something instead. It always sacrifices. Time. Money. Traveling. Time, time and more time. 

4. Love means being unbiased to who you get to love. Sometimes people and situations are placed in our lives and we didn't expect them to be so loveable but they are. They needed us at the very moment we were there. My dad has the sweetest, softest hear that he learned from his dad on generosity. No bias- you get to love those who can give you something in return and those who can't. Especially those who can't. 

5. Love forgives and gets over stuff. My dad wrote this card a couple of months ago to me that said something like-- let stuff go and don't hold things against people. This is so hard for me but I realize it is the only way I can really love well in the long run and then I imagine that someone always held things against me?? I wouldn't be so lovable myself. 

My Daddy still thinks that I'm 5 and you know, I was Miss Independent then, I was stubborn then, and I was quite "sassy" as they would call me so I guess not much has actually changed. 

I can honestly say that I'm grateful God gave me him for a Daddy and I hope one day when I get married to have a man that treats me with the utmost respect, loves sacrificially and is willing to take risks.... Just like the man my Mom married- my Daddy. I also pray for a man who loves kids, just like my Daddy. 

So on that note-- happy Valentines week to you and may someone who has loved you well carry on their legacy in you. 

Love, Melis