To be there.

I was just looking through a bazillion pictures of Africa this past summer. There are so many faces, places, and things that my hurting heart has already forgotten. There were so many memories, so many things I said I wouldn't forget, but as always I need a refresher course. Pictures definitely remind me of things forgotten as did the ones I just look at. I have carried on over the past 90 days since my heart and body left the ground and continent of Africa and I have gone to new places, I have seen new things and I have continued to experience life. Africa changed me, don't get me wrong but I look and wish that I had changed more. Maybe I did more than I think, maybe I did without realizing it. My number one reply to general question is "busy." Yes, I have a lot to do but I also have a lot of moments to just sit and watch movies or check my e-mail or read a book or write a blog or text a million people (not actually but anyways). My life in Africa was so simple, not complex, so straightforward, so much easier sadly enough. I didn't make decisions, someone else did it for me. I didn't worry about new clothes or what everyone else was wearing because I was in a place where people wore the same thing two days in a row and didn't always wash it then. I was in a place where I didn't eat out because that wasn't an option, especially because there were no restaurants or only 1-2 and they were expensive for people that lived there. If I didn't focus on luxury and I wasn't so vain, my life would be a lot less busy. I would be a lot more happy and I could focus on the people around me that love me and that I love. Unfortunately, the best of both worlds just does not always work out. Maybe one day. or maybe one day, I'll choose the other world, where people are only poor because we say they are and I will learn what it's like to be real and genuine and I will be there and not even think about being somewhere else.