I'm sure I'm not the only one. I know I can't be.
They just are literally the worst and I have to do this... every. single. year. It is so incredibly hard.
This year has been a year of answered prayers, overcoming Mountains, and figuring out my strengths and weaknesses. I have had a lot of moments of stress, hope, fear, courage, failure and bravery.
Most teachers are so grateful when summer begins. I am really tired. I am utterly exhausted. Yet, I am so content and satisfied with my first year at this new school. Don't get me wrong... there are PLENTY of things I need to change and the sweet girls who said Government class was perfect on Friday are just full of grace and mercy, nonetheless. I have had so many opportunities to share my stories with my kids and for them to share their stories with me... and a few times to share their stories with other people who can help them. Whew. I have an increasingly grateful heart. I have very mixed feelings on this beginning of summer.
One of my boys sent me a message today that said, "Can you imagine that tomorrow will be the last morning talk we are going to have?" I literally yelled at him, although I was completely alone in my apartment. It's crazy to think it is. He, almost everyday, and a few of the other kids, sporadically, come in during the morning time and always tell me what happened after school the day before, to ask a question, or to ask advice.... or just to talk. It's just like I'm talking to my family.
Maybe that's the hardest part. My kids have really become my kids, my family. I have been (for some of them) the first person inside a school to care, to listen to them, to pay attention to their craziness, to let them be themselves... I mean, for Heaven's sake, I know WAY too much about some of their lives and they just keep talking. So to my kids... thank you. I have prayed my heart out for you this year in your worst moments and your best.
1. To one of my girls who sits alone on purpose- I see you. Don't do this to yourself... there is so much more.
2. To one of my girls who lost a family member and left the country for a few weeks, you are more than welcome to an older sister hug any time.
3. To one of my girls who needs a friend and has hard a really hard last few weeks, I get it. Don't stress yourself out over it. You have amazing people and friends around you and I'm happy to be a person in your life.
4. To one of my boys who called me sensitive, you're right-- you are the 3rd person in the last week to tell me that. Thanks for being honest. :) It's also funny that you say I'm "sensitive" since your favorite hobby is making me mad... just saying.
5. To a few of the girls who are constantly harassed by the boys, join the club my dears. They harass us all. They are indifferent to age and responsibility.
6. To one of my girls who said I was sweet-- you are so kind. She also included that no one should try to make me angry. Boy, do they know me well!
7. To the boys who asked me for food in 4th period-- thanks for finally getting it right and telling future classes to never do such a thing.
8. To one of my boys who said that you were one of my boys... that is truly it. You are.
9. To one of my boys from my morning talks... I make no promises on crying tomorrow when you all leave. I find this already very difficult.
It is hard to believe that tomorrow is their last day of school. My sweet class of 2014. The ones who were a part of me facing my mountain in 2009-2010 as 8th graders and now this incredible group of seniors I've had the privilege of spending the last 9 months with. They are my kids.... and I'm grateful.
Tomorrow will not be easy but I have full confidence that they will be a generation who changes the world.
I'm sure this is completely out of context but I have no clue what I'll do in such a quiet classroom Thursday morning cleaning and packing my things. I will miss the noise of my kids.
Love each of you sweet things... Miss Gillespie
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