Learning things I never thought I would in the places that I did...

So interesting in reading through the Old Testament what I have learned. No, it was not expected. Yes, I like history. Did it happen that I learned something? Oh completely on purpose. In reading Genesis, it was the constant beckon of how faithful God is to His people and while this continues on in Exodus and Leviticus (I only have a couple of more chapters to read!), it is very clear as God begins to create, be still, heal, restore, redeem, mend the broken, and through all of that make Himself known through His people and His activity in the world. Good stuff.

In reading Exodus, I realized that there was a lot of it that I have read before and quite a bit that I have never paid attention to. Yet, the one thing that was consistent throughout the entire book, it was.... that God is into details. God is not a big God who never looks down and sees His people struggling, hurting, or heartbroken. He is the God who sees all, or "El Roi." I think that clearly shows how faithful God is, as well as how much He loves every single, small piece of who we are. He loves that I have brown hair and brown eyes, and the crazy thoughts that He often places in my head. He also desires that the smallest details, in the smallest places, where I often do not glorify Him.... that He be glorified even in those details, even in the places I don't see. It is proof that God is in to detail as He gives instruction on building the temple, even up to the point of saying how stitches the curtains should be and what color and so on. He demonstrates this in talking about sacrifices... which side should the blood be spilled on? which animal should be used for sacrifice? Who should make the sacrifice?

And then onto Leviticus... the one book that is probably made fun of more than any other book in the Bible has so much Truth to offer. Yes, God continues to be specific and YES, God continues to pursue the details of His children and their lives. When you begin to read the book though, He talks about the "aroma" that is pleasing to Him. In reading this and describing what I'm learning to someone whom I would consider a mentor, she pointed out that not only am I to have an aroma that is pleasing to the Lord, but an aroma that would attract those around me to Him. I hadn't even thought that far yet! Yet, He so desires that for me!

And in all of this, He has been teaching me so much about obedience. He has shown me time and time again that His faithfulness produces obedience in my life and because of that when I am obedient, He continues to be faithful and it continues a safe, wonderful spiral. I am obedient, He is faithful, He demands more obedience and continues to show Himself faithful. How good and how God of Him to show those things to me. May you bask in His faithfulness today and may that demand obedience in areas of your life that you never even realized He wanted obedience from! He is into the details of who you are and who He is creating you to be... now choose to walk in Him! Learning to love more and more... Him, You, Me...

-Melissa

Plane Thoughts... from my plane ride TO Africa

These may not make a whole lot of sense. I was in the middle of thinking about going to Africa. I was reading the book Radical by David Platt, and I was listening to "Worlds Apart" by Jars of Clay. I was deciding what Africa would be like and how I would respond as well as responding to those around me on the plane ride there. Maybe this will give you some insight as to what I was praying for Africa or it could confuse the heck out of you. Either way, I'm going to give it a shot.

• While reading Radical, these are some of the thoughts I had... It really makes me think about money and how easily I save and spend for what I want. While I am dedicated to giving away as much as possible, I often only give once I've met my needs, or rather my wants, for the month. It feels unintentional and unreal to just have money pulled out of my account without me ever taking a second glance at it. I am to live out of the overflow of His existence and life in me and because of that, genuinely ask God to use me to do things that others will never see or notice, that they will never be apart of and that they will not understand the importance of in relation to God's call from the Cross. How I desire to be like Him! I want more of Him!
• In listening to "Worlds Apart" by Jars of Clay, I think a lot about what God really is breaking apart in my life. Is it anything? Am I allowing Him to change me or mold me into what He desires for me, which is better than I have thought or planned or imagined? How dare I stare the world in the face daily and do nothing to change it! That must be sin, that must be the nail that pierced Jesus to the cross. "And I pray, to love you, take my world apart, I am on my knees." May I be desperate and see God's own as He sees them...loveable, needing to be loved, and loving themselves. "Steal my heart and take the pain, take the selfish, take the weak."
• (Last summer, I spent a lot of time at Lake Tanganyika with a little girl who really stole my heart named Mapalo.) Thinking of Mapalo-- God's children break my heart and they tear my world apart. How deep your love must for her!

Maybe this will give you some perspective. I don't know. Continuing to pray that God breaks my heart for the things that break His and that I can see through His eyes!

-Melissa

My African Prayer

"Tolemi totela." This song resounded time and time again in our meetings, prayer services, conferences and just walking around the compound while in Africa. Translated into English, the song means, "We want to thank you Lord." What a prayer. Very simple. Straight to the point. And they meant it. To stand in the middle of missionaries, pastors, and others who have been persecuted for their faith, discouraged, and continue to be faithful, these were the words they were crying out to God. At some point, I just stopped to listen and of course, in the still and calm of the moment, God began to ask me what I was thanking Him for.... what was I believing to be faithful for? Why was I singing the words of this song? And I began to think more than anything, how thankful I was to be in Africa, to see people with His eyes (as I had been praying), to hear with his ears, and to touch with his touch. I thanked Him for the kids that we had worked with that he had given me great influence with, including Innocent, this precious little 9ish year old boy who had just latched onto me for some reason. I thanked Him for the girls at the AIDS orphanage who told me that I should stay in Africa because they just liked me and I believe they sincerely meant it. I thanked Him for the girls who had lost parents and sibiling to HIV and AIDS and how they learned the song, "Amazing Grace," singing over and over again, "I once was lost but now am found." Those sweet words have just stayed in my ear along with so many other things. I thanked Him that he is using the chaplain at the local hospital to pray for those who otherwise have never heard of Him and I thanked Him that in the midst of loss and poverty that He is still sovereign and good.



How faithful and loving is the God we serve. May you thank Him today for what really matters and give grace to others who do not quite understand Him. May He give you grace for the small things and strength where it is needed.



-Melissa, or "MaLeesah" as said by the Africans

On Purpose...

Today was also a great day... I know what you're thinking... "Yeah, it must have been for you to blog 2 days in a row!" Last day of kids... stress case about cleaning... completed grades... several initials on my checkoff list... got some sweet notes... and ended the school day by coming home to work on some stuff for Africa and church this weekend. However, one of my sweet moments today came when I met a parent of a student I have had for part of the semester this year. I have talked to his mom on the phone but not his dad. So he's a talkative kid, overall good at conversation and knows how to treat people... and overall, excellent for me in the class. He had a few things happen and needless to say, he had to take a step back for a while... which is totally okay. After meeting his mom, I met his dad, very upright, extremely polite and very respectable. He reached his hand out to shake mine and as I introduced myself, he looked at me with a smile, and said, "My son speaks very highly of you." ::chills:: How incredible, to be respected and spoken of highly... now that reminds me to live on purpose. I MUST live on purpose. I must remember that I have the chance to influence and change people and he didn't just happen to be one of them, he was one of them that I was meant to influence. May he, as you, walk in potential to see who you really are and then be excited about living in passion and on purpose...
-Melis

Amazing...!

My 4th Period has been absolutely amazing this year and for more than a couple of reasons. I have had a lot of incredible kids, but as a class, they were Wow... They are/were motivated, challenging, caring, selfless, loving and considerate of others. If we had a Give Back Saturday, the majority of the students I had come were from that class. If I was ever in a bad mood or upset or didn't feel good, they were my most encouraging and caring. They really considered all others before themselves, and again, it wasn't just one or two students, it was the entire group! So about today... of course, we had an emotional last day because that is required in middle school. I was so afraid that I was going to cry because I have gotten close to so many of kids in general, but especially in that class. So they are making fun of me about how I'm going to cry and I kinda thought that if they started crying, I wouldn't... and I got lucky. So I give the "You can make a difference speech" as I do on a weekly basis in most of my classes... I don't know why they let me teach Geography and not character education but whatever, I do both. In the midst of me giving my final speech to this class, some of the girls start crying and I'm thinking "Oh no." I gave them each 3 purple ribbons and told them that they needed to wear one to be reminded that they are to make a difference in the world. I told them they needed to give the other 2 to someone that made a difference in their life or someone that they had the chance to impact over the next couple of weeks. I finished my speech and read them something I had written to them as a class and then each of them had something personal that I wrote. I read them all out loud and that is when a lot of them really lost it. Kids I would never think would even consider crying, all of a sudden are teary eyed and just looking at me like, "Would you stop?" I make it through that part and then we're just talking afterwards right before the bell rings... still some wet eyes, but some sweet, sweet moments. I was so excited to be able to pour so much Truth into these precious kids in just a few minutes today, of course after spending a year with them... it was amazing to love and breathe life and be real with them. I got to say to them what I had wanted to say after all that. However, the best part of it all was the end... After the tears and the bell, a lot of them left and then some of the most amazing, grateful, sweet faces walked up to me and began to hand me their purple ribbons and told me that I had been a person who had made a huge difference in their lives. Love my kids... absolutely love them... to make a difference... to watch them make a difference... may they pour that into the next generation and I will continue to pour it into those I see because now I have at least 7 purple ribbons to hand out to people who have made a difference in my life and people who I want to impact and make an impact... sweet relief... God, you have been so good to me and a fabulous way to start June! Love those around you and truly "Be the change you wish to see in the world!"
-Melis

Processing...

It's been a while I feel like that I've sat down and actually processed what I was feeling and thinking so the following are some of the things that I've thought about, written and prayed about, discussed, and now I'll post it here...
-The Urgency of the Gospel- how dare I act as if it is not important at all or doesn't matter or go about saying it in a nonchalant way as if it carries no weight because it does... huge weight to my family, my students, roommates, friends, connections... pretty much everyone. It matters... end of discussion and I need to act like and talk like it matters because again, it does.
-Love- it's required, it's not something that is optional for me at this point and yes I want to scream and pull my hair out and act like a psycho on a daily basis, and let's be honest, I have a lot of these moments... yet when it all comes down to it, love must be core. I wear a ring that says, "Keep on loving" for the reason that it is not natural for me to do it, I must put forth effort in order to be able to do so.
-Importance of People- bottom line, because of the Urgency of the Gospel and Love, people are at the core and knowing they are valued is a much bigger deal than we think. So yesterday, after I freaked out on one of my boys because he was being ridiculous and everyone knew it, today I knew that it is part of life that I get angry but it is too easy to just be mad all the time. I must do something different, or otherwise I look like everyone else to everyone else and I just can't have that. That's a sweet word I like to call "settling" and it's just not something that I know that much about.
-Other- There are so many other things that I am processing so of course, I'll just make a list...
1. how do I get through to those who believe something totally different
2. how do I know the right time to share with those people
3. I want to hear the voice of God speak clearly and with weight in my life again and it be something that I acknowledge, not ignore.
4. Sharing with those who mean the most to me
5. Continuing to connect with people who will push me to be better and love Jesus more and step outside of me when needed (as in every second) so that He is seen and not me.
6. Prayer, prayer, prayer... need it more and more and more.
7. Last but not least, as always, may I continue to the be the change that I wish to see in the world. Who know that Gandhi's words would speak volumes later... but then again, Jesus's has carried longer.... should have known.

Happy weekend to you and may you continue to change, grow, be bold, take heart, and realize that you have been placed in the life of someone and you may never know the impact that you have on them.
Love, Melis

What makes me Me?

I've had so many conversations about who I am within the last week... they were unintentional conversations and they weren't even necessarily a person telling me who I am or who I should be and they weren't really about me but I process things in writing so here we go...

I am a lover and a fighter... I am both... I am not caught in between either. I will love until my heart hurts and breaks and sometimes even when it is broken over and over. I will fight for the things that I love, I will fight for someone to be treated fairly, to be loved and to feel like a million bucks. I love people... I am an introvert at my core but would not survive if I wasn't around people as much as I am. They make me, me. They sometimes point out my flaws and faults and heartaches and pains but I become a better person because of it. (even if I get really mad at them in the meantime) They encourage me and tell me what I'm doing right... they point out that I never have to say a word about my passions because it shows in my actions because that is honestly what matters. At the core of me, I don't always feel like I need to be recognized or thanked but I want to see change because of something that has been done or said and if I can see or be a part of that change, I feel that I have accomplished something. I do not thrive from networking with tons of people... I like just being with people close who I feel know me and like me for me. They don't always make me feel like I need to be more but I can just be. I love teaching... I love changing people and I love changing. I like fitting in where I am and where I am called which is why living in Vegas I will call the freeway the freeway and when I am home in Georgia, I will call it the interstate. I am flexible. I understand that everything can't be under my control and I can't fix everything. I don't like reality a lot of times but I know that I have to accept it so I do and I move on. I am jumbled, I don't think clearly. I would have to read this out loud a million times before I could put it in order. I love cards and notes and pictures. I love sunsets and flip flops and clearance racks. Shopping and being around people but not having to talk is therapy. I love playing with kids and seeing them smile. I love making people smile or laugh no matter what I have to do to get there. I want to make people happy and sometimes that can be a hindrance because I want to be approved of and loved... and sometimes people don't approve and love me in the same way, but that's a part of life. I've learned that life is not always what I want it to be or expect it to be but it is what it is and that's okay. I love summer and having a tan and being happy. I love the smell of rain and the refreshing it brings but I hate the headaches that comes with it because all the dust from the ground rises up into my ever-loving nose. I love my middle school kids and I choose to believe the best about them on most days unless they make me crazy mad. I demand respect which is sometimes intimidating but I have a great relationship with my kids. They know way too much about my personal life and some of them will play important roles in my future which is very exciting for me. I would prefer to live close to school so I could see my kids in their normal everyday stuff... at Wal-Mart and McDonald's and riding their bikes with their brothers and sisters. I love Jesus and I am so thankful for the cross and what that has meant for me and what He did for me. I am so thankful that Jesus loves me very often despite me and who I am. I love him because he loves me and he chooses me and He desires my very, very best, even though I don't understand it sometimes. (or a lot) I love the family that He has given me and the people who are around me that mean so much. I am His more than anything else. He ultimately makes me and has given me flaws because if I was perfect, I wouldn't need Him and quite frankly, I would prefer to need Him and want Him to be a part of my life... I wouldn't be Me without Him.