Half{ish} of 29 Thoughts to Think...

I read social media sometimes and wonder what is wrong with people. Not really just what is wrong with them mentally, but do they have a heart. I think many people do not think before they say or do or post things. They do not say or do or post them maliciously but my heart is so offended by the things they think that I actually feel sorry for them sometimes. Not just empathy, but pure pity. Like sick at my stomach pity and I wish I could yell at people through the computer or phone screen. As I approach the unwise age of 30 so quickly, I just need to share some things with you. Near and dear to my heart but my personal opinion and things my lack of wisdom and experience have taught me. These are not you things... these are me things. So you can agree or disagree. I've been told that at 60, you just say what you want to and you don't care... but the other day, I was told by a friend that being 30 brings a whole new freedom to not worry about whether people are offended or irritated or whatever. Maybe I've always told the Truth as much as I think possible and go back and tell it when I've covered it up... but these are real things. Maybe I'm a little early on the not caring, offending thing.

1. It's hurtful when we tell people that they SHOULD do certain things. Maybe they've done those things and it didn't work. We are not in charge of their lives. We should be very careful and cautious on this.

2. Travel is a great teacher and airplanes aren't just for headphones and reading. It's for relationships and a few hours sitting next to someone who maybe has something to teach you, instead of talking the whole time or ignoring the person next to you the whole time.

3. Stop talking so much. STOP. TALKING. SO. MUCH.

4. When asking how people are doing, actually listen to them and mean it or don't ask.

5. On kids, we don't decide how many kids people have and don't have. Why do we ask such nosey questions? And why do we bother people who want to have multitudes of kids? That's their personal choice, is it not?

6. Sometimes people want us in their business. Sometimes people want to "pull up a chair next to your desk and cry." I mean that literally and figuratively. We desperately need people to be transparent with.

7. Parents and families-- sit with your kids and genuinely talk to them at the dinner table. Put away your cell phone for a few minutes. They crave that attention. And when you don't, they're telling their teacher that they haven't had a real conversation with an adult in months. And I KNOW they're telling the Truth and don't want to.

8. When people talk to you, look at them. There is nothing that can replace the conversations I've had where people love me enough to look me in the face.

9. On poverty, let's stop telling poor people they're poor. Maybe part of the result of our society is that we've identified so many people as poor and without that they don't know what to do except take what is given. Maybe they're not too blame for their attitudes on this. Our name calling changes everything.

10. On education, don't talk to a teacher about education unless you know what you're talking about. Do not get upset with a teacher because your child isn't learning. 90% of the teachers I know bust their butts so your kids learn when you're with them. You may be smarter than them but most of them know what they're doing.

11. Stop believing the hype of social media of any kind. Our "social media" lives are so fake now that it makes my heart beat really fast and it makes me nervous because I never want anyone to believe that my life is that easy or that good.

12. Gentlemen, do not be over friendly with the ladies and pretend that you like them, therefore leading them on.

13. Ladies-- I have learned in my experience (or lack there of) that if a (very) gentle-man really wants to pursue you, he will. You won't have to ask.

14. On immigration, we assume too much as white people (and I can say that because I am one) and think that everyone comes to the US because they want something. Well, they do. A better life. Please do not judge any parent or family member who would want that for someone. I can guarantee that you want the same thing for your child or family members. Documented or not-- think about a family for a second and not their legal status. (Yes, I have hardcore heart feelings on this one because I know so many, many stories.)

15. On love, they say it's sweet to wait. I say it's hard as ever to know that you want to get married and people who get married sometimes forget how you feel. People mean well (or they mean something that I don't understand) when they tell you how beautiful and deserving you are. I've said this a million times, but let me say it again... please don't tell single people how you can't believe they aren't married. That makes us feel crappier than we already do about it and it is so not helpful.

16. Always be honest. People have gotten mad at me for being honest but I've never had someone come back and tell me they wish I wouldn't have been honest. Be true to yourself.

17. Keep it in writing. Some of my best days are when I'm able to go back and look at the faithfulness and fingerprints of God's faithfulness in and on my life. Without those piles or journals and random letters and notes, it would be easy for the enemy to eat me alive.

That's all this girl's got for the moment... or 29ish years of it. -Melis