Because I am incredibly auditory, I struggle with words. Because I am an introvert, I struggle with sharing those words that are inside my brain. I am often defensive, feisty, and short with words when they do come out hurried and hurtful. When I stop and think (this side is encouraged), I deeply regret the words I say, am pleased with others, and think about why each side was the way it was.
There was more than once today that I used my words to empower people. There was also more than once today that I used my words to hurt people. Overall, my interactions today have been positive but a few times, I noticed I went straight to defending something that was not worth being offended over or just silenced the other person because I'm over it.
Why.... why... why... is the question I constantly ask myself. Repeatedly, I find myself going back and apologizing for something stupid I've said that I think hurt someone. Most of the time, they thought nothing of it except I was crazy that I went back. I think it's better to err on that side, than the other.
Because one of my top love languages is words of affirmation, I really struggle with feeding negative words into my brain. I remember and dwell on those things, and why someone would say those things to me. Tonight on my way home from a very full day, I prayed, asking God to restore balance in this area. Unfortunately, it seems that most people are normally VERY defensive OR very run over. Then Jesus began to speak over me in my car, reminding me of the way He deals with things. He did not let Adam and Eve rule and reign the world when they chose to sin. He put His foot down. My God is not a God to be run over by our fast talking brains and snappy attitudes. He just doesn't do it, straight up. He also reminded me that in the New Testament, He never let the Pharisees get away with their mocking of His commands. He put them in their place. He did offend them, but only in a way in which they needed to be offended. He told them Truth. He did not spout off an academic's scholars belief on something, nor did He Google it to figure out what they needed to know. He told them what God's best was for them. They had the choice to walk away or pursue that Truth. We have the same choice.
When I'm approached, I want to be ready to speak, but I also want to be slow to speak. Quick words hurt. They do not heal and restore. I've read more than once the statement, "Hurt people hurt people." People who are defensive often hurt people, it's not conscious, it is their defense. That doesn't make it right, but it is what happens. When I know God's Truth and I walk in the Truth, I will find that I am quick to think but slower to speak, quicker to listen, but slower to jump down someone's throat.
This is an area I know I need to work on. Let us be slow to speak but ready. Let us listen before we jump to conclusions and assume. Let us tell the Truth. Other people's words do not have power over us but we must know HIS WORD. Let us be careful and apply the Truth we know to our own lives as we beg others to join us in this. Praying for you, will you pray for me in this area? -Melis
P.S. If you are a person who I have hurt with my words before, I would like to sincerely apologize. Praying that my words are Truth and empowering to you in the future. Jesus is correcting me in this area! I am grateful for the grace with which you've been patient too. Thank you for your recognition to extend that to me.
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