It would be a lie to say it has been easy. It has been fun and it is been enjoyable and it has been hard. The transition was not easy and finding a place to fit in was a DEFINITELY not easy. Sometimes I feel like I even still don't know my place but I do know it, I'm just sometimes in denial.
At the school I teach at, the students are all new to the country. They have mostly lived in the U.S. for less than 4 years. Some stories are different and there are a few exceptions but that is pretty much the rule. Many of them have multiple family members and friends in the countries they have come from. They have stories there, haunting pasts, sick family members that can't leave or are too old, and places that they dearly loved.
It is easy for me to say as a person who grew up in America that once I'm in America, I should love everything about it. I should speak English automatically and know how to read road signs and follow laws. I should attend school regularly and make straight A's because that's everyone's expectations. THAT IS NOT REALISTIC MY FRIENDS.
My students and their families came to the United States for better opportunities. They are not perfect and they do not speak English correctly and they do not always follow the law because sometimes they just don't know. They don't know the attendance rules and they MISS HOME. Many of their parents sent them to live with someone to attend school and a university because they can take what they learned and have a better life than their parents.
Sometimes I miss home and I just grew up in a different part of the country. Home home is SO incredibly different than Las Vegas. I love city life but sometimes I just want to go to a small Mexican restaurant without driving to the other side of the world and I want to eat Chick-Fil-A on my way home from work and I want sweet tea to be served at every restaurant. I want someone to speak to me with a southern accent and not tell me that the way I say the words "white" and "why" and "what" is funny. It's not weird that I speak slower or dress differently. Those things are familiar to me. Those are home to me.
My students miss home. They miss the familiarity of everyone who speaks the same language and eats the same food and school is the same way. And they miss so much more than that.
Yet, we complain that they don't stand for the pledge to the American flag. They don't truly know what freedom is in America yet... they are still figuring it out. Should we teach this? Yes, absolutely! 100%. They don't understand the military and the respect for the military because the military and the people in government abused the system and took away their freedoms in their own countries and they had nothing but they had everything. When they came to the US, they came with a suitcase of their small amount of belongings and they moved into the house of a distant relative to live for a few years. Some of my kids came to America and they didn't know they were staying. They thought it was a vacation, a sports trip and they stayed. They miss home.
And when you tell me that a person should go back to their home, sometimes the home is not there. The feelings and memories and people are there but it is not the same. And they are scared of that too.
So as you're vacationing this summer at the beach and you miss your bed, think of my kids, think of their beds in their nice houses in their countries that they miss because it smells and sounds and looks familiar. Please don't roll your eyes at the family who's speaking Spanish or Arabic or Farsi or Thai or Chinese or Aramaic or anything else for that matter because those are my kids families. Those people are someone's family and someone who missed home just like you. Someone who has worked really hard to take their family on a vacation and to a nice dinner. You know what? Pay for their meal. Surprise them. Send them a plate of dessert and they may not know what to do but let's show them that Americans can be kind and nice and not judgmental. Ask them questions about their accent and country and tell them how much you want to travel (only if you really do- don't lie, of course). Ask them if they still have family there and what job they have here. Ask them what's different.Actually look at them and pay attention to the way they're just like you. Because sometimes we all just want to go to our own beds and our own time clocks and our own lives but we were meant for relationships, to serve and encourage one another. I DARE you to take one opportunity this summer to reach out to someone who makes you uncomfortable and do something nice. That begins to make it feel more like home. :)
-Melis
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