Life is so complicated that I cannot begin to express the nth in which I believe this. You never know it when you're young and sheltered and then you grow up and realize that life wasn't all that easy then either. You just had some Angels, parents and grandparents and loving people, who guarded all of that yuck-o stuff from you.
In all the pictures of adult women, they always looked so put together. I mean, honestly, how do I not wash my hair and I'm dirty and a celebrity doesn't wash her hair and its a thing. How is that a thing really? Last week, I pinned my hair back three days in a row-- it was wet and messy and falling everywhere and I really could have cared less because I was so tired in the morning. Thursday afternoon, one of my compassionate "sons" was like you look really nice today, you fixed your hair.... Implying wow, you have tools and items at your house that allow you to style your hair so you look like a decent human being. Barely, son, barely.
Another one of my boys had been having a rough week, and I had been patiently asking AKA nagging him to no end, trying to figure out what was wrong. When he broke it down for me while my entire class was outside, my ears miraculously opened and I could hear him... Actually listen to what he was saying and hear him and see him for what was really going on. I thought my lack of sleep called for a messy hair day and the vain attempt at pretty nails to cover up the mess in my brain that was kind of falling apart. I'm just like that sometimes so once k finally had myself together on the outside, I was possibly approachable for a kid who's inside is coming apart.
The crowd rebuked them and told them to be quiet but they shouted all the louder, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!"
Jesus stopped and called them. "What do you want me to do for you?" He asked.
"Lord," they answered, "we want our sight."
Jesus had compassion on them and to used their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed them.
(Matthew 20:31-34)
Jesus sat with my boy and all his words from his brain and took my messy mind and cleared it for a moment. He gave me ears and him sight. For the first time in a bit that I remembered. So today, when he stared off into space, with tear-rimmed eyes... I knew that my seemingly uncomplicated life needed to pause and take notice for a minute to fill up a space and open my ears. My messy hair and messy nail beds and put together outside didn't make any difference but it gave me a minute. A minute to pass the rebukes of the world who tells me all the freaking time to stop listening to kids and stop investing in my job and to take more time for myself. Those voices were shut down and silenced and it was the men, "Lord, we want our sight." The words changed a little, "I want to be seen and heard."
But Jesus's compassion remains the same. Constant in every rebuke and complicated life. In every moment that makes no sense to us. In ever injustice. It covers up vain attempts on the outside with beautiful righteousness and He puts His hands and feet on us and they get to be seen by those who get to receive their sight. A beautiful picture to be seen, especially if you've ever walked through darkness or being blind.
May He heal my blindness and your blindness too. And may we stop covering up the little things in our lives but let His love and grace and compassion cover and spill over.
-Melis
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