Sunday, November 24, 2013

Why I Didn't Know Anything 10 Years Ago... And Still Don't.

In a few short hours, I celebrate 29. What the heck has happened with my life?

I feel like I should be sitting in a Starbucks doing homework trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life. Oh wait... I still am. I'm in the last 2 weeks of completing my Master's Degree. (Let's have a moment of celebration of that, shall we????!!!) Ten years ago, I was praying I made it through my first year of college without failing out. High school DID NOT prepare me for college regardless of what everyone in my life told me. They were convinced that I would be fully successful in college and it would change my life. Well it did and not in the way I thought it would. And so did the rest of my life.

Let's make some comparisons:
19: Thought I would sin less as I grew up and "matured."
29: Realizing that I am intellectually smarter now than I was then but I justify more sin, there's not less sin in my life.

19: "Note taking queen"(yeah freakin' right.)
29: My journals are in various colors and I've assumed that everyone uses my system of outlining and note taking in their church sermons. Oh, you don't?

19: Naive as ever
29: Naive as ever

19: Ready to be independent and be a "grown-up"
29: Taking back all of my words that I wanted to be a grown-up. Growing up sucks.

19: Wanted to be around people who just fluffed me up and encouraged me.
29: Want to be around people who tell me the truth and encourage me.

19: Thought I had my life figured out. Married at 22. Kids by 25. Teaching and being Teacher of the Year by 23.
29: My life is a hot mess. Adequate. Not married. 1,000 kids over the last 6 years. I actually was chosen as Teacher of the Year during my 3rd year of teaching (25) and I was completely floored and shocked when I realized exactly what it was.

19: In a few years, I'll be living in Chattanooga or Atlanta. Probably won't leave the country.
29: Living in Las Vegas. Been to Africa 4 times and I'm planning my 5th trip for next summer. Will I ever leave Las Vegas? What am I doing with my life?

19: Have relationships figured out.
29: Let's refer back to the hot mess account. Nothing in relationships is figured out.

19: My professors have no idea what types of obstacles I've created for myself.
29: My kids have no idea what types of obstacles they create for themselves.

19: I'm amazing.
29: I'm an idiot.

So, as you can see. Most things are different. I'm still ridiculous. Clearly. I still don't know much of anything. Clearly. And I hope that your life is never what you hope and more than what you dream. Happy last year of 20's to me!

-Melissa

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