At some point or another in your life, more than likely, looks have meant something. I was a cheerleader when I was younger and therefore you had to have a "perfect ponytail." This was so the ribbon looked just right when you jumped up and down (in pictures that will never be cute-- sorry ladies) and so you could see your name monogrammed perfectly down one side. That was probably more of a Southern thing than anything else. REGARDLESS. My dream was to have a great, jump-swooshing, hot ponytail. It didn't happen when I was younger. The other day it happened and you know what.... NO ONE CARED. Be honest. If you saw me, you thought either nothing or "Oh, she pulled her up and probably didn't wash it." HA-- I did wash it so there's that. The point of the previous paragraph is to say, "Most of the time people don't care about the things I care about." Like the way I look or dress or whether I brush my teeth-- no one really cares. They just don't. (I keep saying this to myself-- sorry, you're having to read it multiple times as well.)
At the beginning of the week, I posted a picture of my Senior Prom. I'm not going to lie-- the dress I wore was stunning. I felt like a million dollar mermaid in it (whatever that even means). Yes, people told me I looked pretty in it and that was fine. That's not really the point. Prom and the way I looked was the way I thought I would look for the rest of my life (without the feeling of a million bobby pins in my head-- that was just painful). You know what? No one remembers that dress except me. And Trista, my sister. She loved that dress so much that when I was at home last year or the year before, she INSISTED I try it on again. The dress was still beautiful. Still one of my favorite colors. It was way too expensive (thanks Mom and Dad!) but it was beautiful for a day.
I am vain. The song was probably written about me. Literally. I'm always floored with the things people say to me or about me because it gives me a lot more credit than I am worthy of. My mind often centers around what I look like, what people think about me, and what compliments I should or could receive. That's ridiculous. I'm not above anyone else or better than anyone else. After I finally get over the vanity concept, maybe then I can work more on my comparison ordeal. I'm not sure if you can identify with this need for acceptance. Maybe more this need for acceptance in the way you look.
In reading Proverbs, I'm constantly floored with the idea that to be focused on vanity is purely foolish and if I would take a minute to stop looking in the mirror and focus on my character and what God looks at--my heart-- I would be more patient, more compassionate, more caring, etc. with the people around me. I would actually care consistently and I would love well. Jesus was able to love well because he wasn't vain. He wasn't worried about the way he looked or what the crowds of people listening to him thought. Yet, He approached all things with grace more and more. May I do the same. Will you pray for me? I'm grateful I'm being redefined in this area of my life. -Melis
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