I don't know why I try to title things, I'm not good at it.

Funny story... today, M (one of my autistic kids) came into class with his sunglasses on. That's normal. He picked up his folder and I handed him a piece of paper that he had turned in that he didn't have to. He takes it back and says, "Did you love it?" Did I love that you completed your paper? Yes. Did I love that you just used your manners? Yes. Did I love that you just asked me that sincerely? Yes. I really think M goes home and laughs at the things he says to teachers sometimes and the responses that he gets. He is so hilarious. After we had that nice conversation, he got mad that he had to do his work and kicked the desk and slammed his hand on the table and declared, "I don't want to do this!" Gotta love Mondays. I mean seriously? The song lyrics, "It's just another manic Monday," freely flowed through my head for the whole first hour of school. Oh yeah and did I mention that two boys walked right into my classroom and they're not in my class? And that I called one of my boys, the wrong name twice? I know he was SO happy with me about that! Welcome back my beloved!

Along those lines though, I have thought a lot today in my very, very cheerful mood where nothing was going to bring me down. There are so many kids who are depending on me. There are so many adults that I work with that are depending on me. I desire change and want to see that take place in so many of the people I work with and the students that give me a job really. I mean I can beg some of them to stop coming, but then who would I work with? There are so many people that you work with and do life with everyday that are depending on you too! Why do I believe this you ask? This is why... this afternoon, I went and had quick meeting with my boss. We were talking about next year's schedule, my prep sell, my early bird class that I share, and lots of other very school related things. I made a comment that right before spring break I was feeling so burned out. He said that burning out is exactly what they don't want to happen which is why they're trying to make some changes for next year. There are always people resistant to those changes and on most days, he stays away from those topics which I appreciate. In the midst of this discussion, he made the comment, "We've gotta figure out a way for you to get back to Africa."

Let's rewind...When I first decided to sell my prep (aka September), that was one of the reasons that he used to convince me. The extra money I made would get me to Africa for the 5th year in a row. That comment may not make any difference to you but it does to me. My boss has never been to Africa. He has been out of the country and he really understands a lot more about poverty and the need for change than most people, including me most of the time and he has more life experience than other people as well. We've had a lot of conversations on long trips in a group about traveling and he knows that Africa is something I'm passionate about. He's not passionate about Africa... I think he gets that Mack has a kind of ambassador when we go to other places. I'm an ambassador to Africa on behalf of my school and kids, my boss, my church, my family, my friends, my prayer and sponsoring supporters. I get to see change take place across the globe. My dream is to take students, students from Mack to join me on the field to serve those who have less and love more. To those who live plain, ordinary lives... just like us in a different way and on the other side of the planet. My boss is depending on me to do something different, to be a change agent, to be a role model to my students. Not going to Africa this summer is a big deal for me and I know that I'm not supposed to go this summer for an "only God knows" reason. He will show me in His time.

In the meanwhile, we are to be His ambassadors in the lonely, needy places.... with those who are loved and who need to be loved. For those who want us to love their work and hearts and for those who kick the desks in rage. For those who cry out a need to believe and those who are so shy that they would never think of such. I am to be a change agent. I am to speak out for change for those who have no hope and for those who are depending on me. Who's watching me and waiting for the change I get to make in their lives?

Oh Jesus--- thank you for sweet influence and the lives you allow me to physically and emotionally change. Forgive me for the times I kick the desk in rage and thank you for your compassion when I ask you if you love my work. You are so good to me. -Melissa