Facelift Time

I felt like my life is receiving a sort of facelift so maybe my blog needed one too :) In all seriousness, I feel like the new look and everything has come at just the right time. God is literally doing a brand new thing in my life and I am a nervous wreck and completely thrilled at the same time. So I feel like my blog actually fits me now... maybe the bird on my last template was a sample of me running (or flying-- same difference) from something, rather than the freedom I had hoped it would encourage. I could say that this weekend has been somewhat crazy for me and not making any sense but then I might just add that to the last year of my life. I feel like life has kinda turned upside down in a lot of ways. The last group of kids I had at school was so heartbreaking for me. I turned 26 which means that I am past a quarter of a century and I embarked on my second 6-7 week Africa trip... so praying about that while I'm here. What I have also realized over the last 6 months is that maybe I'm not as self aware as I had hoped. I'm sure I've talked about this before here before in one way or another. I've had even more realizations over the last week in reading this book called Every Thought Captive. I think the book was probably written for someone a little younger than me but either way, it totally applies to anyone at almost any stage.

At the end of every chapter, there are questions and so I have been journaling my thoughts on some of those questions. Part of taking captive thoughts is getting rid of the lies of Satan and dwelling on the Truth of Jesus so that's what I've been doing. The other day I wrote down this statement and I realized that it was actually profound for me in my recent thought processes. I wrote: "For me to find myself in Christ means to look to him first and long for Him most." Whoa for me there... in the midst of some of my confusion, God restores my ability to see Him more than anyone and anything else. I've spent some time over the last few months trying to figure out who I am and what my purpose is... and just not fully doing that in Jesus, which is exactly where I need to find it most. I see and understand more now than maybe ever before that my identity can never be wrapped up in me but Him first. Me being in Africa makes no difference, Him being in me and my longing and pursuit of Him in Africa makes all the difference. The same applies to my family, relationships, work, kids and everything. I can want to see change and do everything I can to get there but it will make no difference if Jesus is not in me and He doesn't make a change. I have got to realize that. You have got to realize that you alone do not make a difference. Your pursuit of Jesus, and more importantly His pursuit of you grants you an authority that you would not have otherwise.

May you seek to find all your identity in Him alone. May He make the difference in you.
Love you... Melis