I've had so many conversations about who I am within the last week... they were unintentional conversations and they weren't even necessarily a person telling me who I am or who I should be and they weren't really about me but I process things in writing so here we go...
I am a lover and a fighter... I am both... I am not caught in between either. I will love until my heart hurts and breaks and sometimes even when it is broken over and over. I will fight for the things that I love, I will fight for someone to be treated fairly, to be loved and to feel like a million bucks. I love people... I am an introvert at my core but would not survive if I wasn't around people as much as I am. They make me, me. They sometimes point out my flaws and faults and heartaches and pains but I become a better person because of it. (even if I get really mad at them in the meantime) They encourage me and tell me what I'm doing right... they point out that I never have to say a word about my passions because it shows in my actions because that is honestly what matters. At the core of me, I don't always feel like I need to be recognized or thanked but I want to see change because of something that has been done or said and if I can see or be a part of that change, I feel that I have accomplished something. I do not thrive from networking with tons of people... I like just being with people close who I feel know me and like me for me. They don't always make me feel like I need to be more but I can just be. I love teaching... I love changing people and I love changing. I like fitting in where I am and where I am called which is why living in Vegas I will call the freeway the freeway and when I am home in Georgia, I will call it the interstate. I am flexible. I understand that everything can't be under my control and I can't fix everything. I don't like reality a lot of times but I know that I have to accept it so I do and I move on. I am jumbled, I don't think clearly. I would have to read this out loud a million times before I could put it in order. I love cards and notes and pictures. I love sunsets and flip flops and clearance racks. Shopping and being around people but not having to talk is therapy. I love playing with kids and seeing them smile. I love making people smile or laugh no matter what I have to do to get there. I want to make people happy and sometimes that can be a hindrance because I want to be approved of and loved... and sometimes people don't approve and love me in the same way, but that's a part of life. I've learned that life is not always what I want it to be or expect it to be but it is what it is and that's okay. I love summer and having a tan and being happy. I love the smell of rain and the refreshing it brings but I hate the headaches that comes with it because all the dust from the ground rises up into my ever-loving nose. I love my middle school kids and I choose to believe the best about them on most days unless they make me crazy mad. I demand respect which is sometimes intimidating but I have a great relationship with my kids. They know way too much about my personal life and some of them will play important roles in my future which is very exciting for me. I would prefer to live close to school so I could see my kids in their normal everyday stuff... at Wal-Mart and McDonald's and riding their bikes with their brothers and sisters. I love Jesus and I am so thankful for the cross and what that has meant for me and what He did for me. I am so thankful that Jesus loves me very often despite me and who I am. I love him because he loves me and he chooses me and He desires my very, very best, even though I don't understand it sometimes. (or a lot) I love the family that He has given me and the people who are around me that mean so much. I am His more than anything else. He ultimately makes me and has given me flaws because if I was perfect, I wouldn't need Him and quite frankly, I would prefer to need Him and want Him to be a part of my life... I wouldn't be Me without Him.
Speechless...
ReplyDeleteI love you and am so blessed to have you as a sister-friend.(whatever that means). You truly are all of this and so much more. You are Melissa, and you are amazing!