I was on a turbulent plane. Feeling a little bit nauseous. Any time I'm physically sick or just exhausted or hungry (of all I am now), the enemy feeds a bunch of ugly lies. So I was sitting there asking God to show me the good in all my mess. And holding back tears. (Because I was on a plane, and who wants to sit next to a crying baby OR a crying 30-something 😳😁.)
I give myself a hard time a lot about the right and wrong words I've said to kids. Kids that I realize I have for a short amount of time. Kids who call me because they don't know what to do. Kids who call me because they need advice. Most of them aren't kids in the term of age but they're my kids. I told someone a few weeks ago that my school is like my home and those kids are mine. I don't just let anyone take care of the kids in my house and I mean it still.
I beg God in certain time periods for mentors for so many of them because I feel so incredibly inadequate and out of place and unworthy. And for reasons, only known to Him, He keeps sending them to me. On Monday, I knew that even writing this would bring an awareness one of them would probably talk to me about something in which they need immediate advice or wisdom and I needed to be mindful of the words only God gives. Because it is Him. And boy, did I ever need that prayer this week. Because one became so many.
I would never do this. I'm too selfish with my time and friends and family. I want those things and people for myself.
God quickly reminded me of one of the sweetest families I've ever met from my first year at Global. Their son was in my class and they had invited a whole group of us to dinner with them. Because that's what family does. You eat together and share stories and clean up. I attended his graduation and sat in between his dad and brother. It was like I was part of their family. Still called his sister and I consider that a huge compliment and honor.
My mom asks about Chandler all the time. My sister talks about Chandler like they've spent significant time together over a period of time but that's not the case. I just tell Chandler stories a lot and those become like my family stories.
The hardest part of living in Vegas is being without a "family." But I have so many adopted family members. (Besides the ones already mentioned.) Teri and Tommy who have taken me to dinner and had me over multiple times. Shannon and Todd who ask me to be part of their family for dinner and time out and shows and TIME. Kristi and Steve who are strong mentors and also willing to do things like pick me up at their airport at midnight with no complaints and only love. James and Maly and Tom and Crystal make me feel welcome as a servant at church. My boss makes my kids and I like family. And a lot of the time (even on bad days) my kids feel like mine.
I got to spend a lot of time with my family last weekend in Georgia and I loved playing with my niece, chatting with my parents over dinner, seeing my sister and brother-in-law as a part of their worship team at church and talking to my cousin about all that is going on in her life at the moment.
All of that to say, there is so much beauty in family. And there are so many people looking for that same community and dinner table and people to pick them up from the airport.
While there are also a large amount of kids WAITING for that same dinner table, the same community and a person to travel with because maybe they've never been anywhere out of the city they're in.
I ask and beg you to find someone who needs community and family and BE.
Just simply BE.
I'm ready to keep doing that. -Melis
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